


(I've found I'm scared to know) I'm always on your mind

by Darnaguen



Series: you and I collide [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, Prompt Fill, Rey Skywalker, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 20:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darnaguen/pseuds/Darnaguen
Summary: Another kiss prompt, this time for "breaking the kiss to say something, staying so close that you’re murmuring into each other’s mouths"!Part #3 of "you and I collide" and possibly my longest piece yet. I hope the wordiness, which isn't my usual style, works. And everything else too.Let me know!





	(I've found I'm scared to know) I'm always on your mind

_out of the doubt that fills your mind_  
_you finally find_  
_you and I collide_

–

The Force loves Poe Dameron.

The thought is a little blasphemous, perhaps, but it crosses his mind every now and then:

When he survives odds he probably shouldn’t, time and again, walking away all but unscathed. When a supernatural calm fills his heart and steadies his hands and his target goes up in flames or falls, engines screeching, from the sky.

When a girl, beautiful and radiant and awe-inspiring, rests her head on his shoulder at a tactical briefing and General Organa and Master Skywalker merely exchange a wry, knowing look instead of frying his behind with a Force lightning or kicking him out of the Resistance. When that same girl sits curled against his side on a crate while going over the schematics to the rusty T-65 models left behind in the old rebel base with him.

Rey has her own quarters at the base now, and he’s happy for her, truly: she’s accustomed to solitude and he knows the bustling base gets overwhelming for her at times – and when she meditates or trains with Master Luke, no one dares to disturb them, of course. But privately and selfishly he misses those stolen moments that morning, weeks ago now, with her in his arms and quiet contentment settling over them both for once.

She’s taken his words to heart, though: the easy affection of the pilots made her eyes widen at first but she’s learning fast, enjoying and participating in friendly pats, affectionate heckling and casual embraces, dropping amicable kisses all over Finn’s face and letting Rose braid her hair. As for him, he’s happy to offer her a steady, safe source of affection in whichever form she wants it, making every effort to be as open and approachable as possible and always respect her boundaries.

*

“Poe?” She scratches her cheek absent-mindedly, leaving behind yet another greasy smudge, and frowns at the datapad.

“Hmm?” He automatically lifts his hand to wipe at the smudge with his thumb and the corner of her mouth twitches.

“Can I kiss you?”

His heart nearly stops and his eyebrows shoot up. “Now?”

She hums thoughtfully. “Later,” she decides and wrinkles her nose. “I’d rather not have an audience.”

He follows her gaze to where Jess and Theo are elbowing each other in the ribs and grinning and makes an effort to arrange his features into a reproachful look. It, predictably, only makes the pilots laugh harder. He sighs.  _At least they’re not exchanging bets. Yet._

“Can I come to your room? Tonight?”

She has that heartbreakingly hopeful look in her eyes again and he must have forgotten how to speak again because she continues: “I checked the duty roster, you should be free this evening and I only have meditation practice today with Da–, I mean, with Luke.” She trails off, sitting up straighter.

He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles before she can get the wrong idea and bolt. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d… I’d like that.”

She flushes, smiling. “Okay.”

He smiles back, heart fluttering. “Okay.”

*

By the time she gets to his door she has already turned around and almost fled back to her own room four times. But she is not a quitter, not anymore and never again.  _And what’s the worst thing that could happen anyway? It’s just Poe. He won’t laugh if you don’t know what you’re doing. Right?_

She groans, standing stupidly in place as if knocking on a door is an unsurpassable challenge. “I should have just asked Finn,” she mumbles. “Or Rose. Or Jess. Or  _anyone_.”  _Why does only Poe make me feel like this?_

An image of Kylo Ren’s smug, pallid face floats from the depths of her mind.  _“What are you afraid of?”_ he smirks.

“Kriff  _off_ , cousin,” she barks. “I’m not afraid.”

And of course, at that very moment, the door slides open.

“Who are you talking to?” Poe frowns, glancing around in the corridor and looking mildly worried. He has a clean shirt and loose trousers on but his feet are bare and his hair looks slightly damp –  and she notices that he hasn’t shaved since yesterday, probably. She finds she doesn’t mind in the  _slightest_.

“Ugh, no one.” She shakes her head and takes a deep breath, smiling. “Can I come in?”

*

Her hair is braided back loosely and she’s still wearing her training clothes: loose and Jedi-like and scant enough for the humidity of Yavin IV. Her arm muscles glisten and he tries hard not to stare. She walks past him into the room, looking around curiously and he inhales almost involuntarily as she passes him: she smells like the jungle.  _Like home_.

“So…” he says, following her a few paces so they both are standing in the middle of the small room. He feels nervous and a little foolish, his heart beating like a stampede of banthas.  _How do you want to do this? Do you still want to do this?_ “How was your training?”

“Good,” she smiles. “I think I managed to communicate with a flock of whisper birds.”

“That’s  _amazing_. They’re glorious creatures.”  _Just like you._  He smiles broadly, genuinely awed.

“Yeah.”

She breathes in deep as if bracing herself and steps closer – so close they’re nearly toe-to-toe. He searches her face, taking a loose grasp of her fingers hanging on her sides, and she presses her forehead to his with a soft chuckle, their noses brushing against each other.

“We don’t have to, you know. If you changed your mind,” he mumbles, but she lifts her hands out of his and wraps her arms around his neck, brushing her lips experimentally against his – once, twice – before withdrawing and biting her bottom lip.

For a moment he is mesmerized, counting her freckles and the speckles of gold in her hazel eyes, his hands drifting upwards too to cradle her face gently between them. She blinks and smiles, her breath hitching a little when his fingers dive into her hair and his thumbs caress her cheeks – and then he loses his restraint, kissing her more hungrily than he intended. _Slow down, Dameron._ But she angles her head just right and opens her mouth to him as if on instinct, her hands moving on their own accord over his shoulders and arms, feather-light and maddening.

*

It’s a dizzying feeling: his tongue sliding against hers, his stubble scratching her skin, his heart beating wildly against her chest. She wants to laugh but she also doesn’t want to stop and his initial fire mellows into a more tender pace she finds easy to follow, mirroring him when runs his tongue along her lower lip and gaining a soft groan from him as a reward. She giggles into his mouth, her hands drifting down to grip his sides and pull him closer. She feels pleasantly light and loose, as if tipsy on Niima moonshine, but like she’s getting wound tightly at the same time. Like she needs  _more_.

Strong arms wrap around her waist and press her ever closer, sprawled fingers of one hand caressing her back and another gripping her waist, thumb dipping under her shirt to stroke circles on her hipbone. She yelps, pushing her fingers into his curls and flexing her fingers on instinct. He pulls back with a gasping laughter.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, breathing a little raggedly, eyes closed. “That got a little out of control.”

“I don’t mind,” she says quickly, brushing her nose against his and smiling against his lips. “That…” She exhales slowly and closes her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart. “That felt good.”

“Yeah?” He loosens his hold on her but leaves his arms to rest lightly around her waist. She frowns, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. “Didn’t it?”

“Rey…” He pulls back some more so she can appreciate his flushed cheeks, swollen lips and his dilated pupils that make his eyes look impossibly dark.  _I did that_ , she thinks and the thought nearly makes her swoon.

“Rey. You are  _amazing_.” He chuckles and rolls his eyes at himself. “Not just at this – and you  _are_  – but in general. And you should know that.” He lifts one hand from her waist to gently tap her on the tip of her nose with one finger. She smiles, feeling a mischievous urge to bite the finger lightly.  _Maybe that would be pushing it. Would it?_

_*_

Looking at her glowing face, her eyes sparkling with mischief and joy, is almost blinding and he wonders once again what did he ever do to deserve such a blessing.  _Thank you, Force_ , he thinks reverently.  _Even if I never get to hold her again my heart is happy and whole_. He decides to push his luck regardless:

“Do you…” He runs a hand through his hair, laughing nervously like he’s fifteen again. “Would you like to stay? Tonight? I just… I would like to hold you tonight if that’s okay with you. And that…  _wasn’t_ a euphemism,” he adds quickly and feels himself blushing.

She smiles, blinking rapidly with what looks suspiciously like tears of strong emotion, and taps his nose in return. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, flyboy.”

The Force  _loves_ Poe Dameron.  

–


End file.
